I Can Never Eat Anything Delicious Again...Or, At Least For Three Months

Sorry readers (or, reader) it's been a while.  I know.  Life got in the way, I wasn't feeling creative, and frankly, I was cranky most of the last month and although I can be extra funny when I'm cranky, this was the less than enjoyable cranky Anna that comes out when she's sick.  You do not want to deal with her.  I don't either. 

So the reason for my crankiness is because I haven't been feeling well.  I've had an ongoing health issue that has been getting progressively worse and was really starting to affect my life.  It sounds dire, but it's not.  It's nothing serious, I'm working on ways to control it, and there are plenty of people who are worse off than I am.  I could alleviate whatever slight worry you might be feeling for me by telling you what it is, but I'm not going to do that.  And I have a very good reason.

Basically, this is my journey.  And while I appreciate when people say, "Oh, well that happens to me too and this is what I do...", I actually don't want to hear it.  I'm a strong believer that different things work for different people.  And some might think the way I've been instructed to go about things is stupid.  Although you are entitled to your opinion, I don't want to listen to it.  I've discussed this at length with my healthcare professional, done all the research, and I think it's the best way for me.  It may not end up working and then you can say you told me so, but until then, keep your comments to yourself, k?  Thanks.

So in addition to starting medication, I have to cut out all foods that can trigger my ailment.  And let me tell you, there are a lot of foods that can be triggers.  The thought is that I'll cut out all of these foods for about three months and then I can start adding them back in.  If I start feeling bad again after I add a food back into my diet, I'll know that if I want to feel better, I need to stop eating it again.  My hope is to be able to control this by diet and will be able to go off of the medication.  I'm not against medicine when it can make you feel better.  And if I need to continue taking it I will.  But if I can control this naturally, I'd much rather do it that way.  (cue BSB 'I Want It That Way' as background music.)

So below are the foods I have to cut out and my reactions to each:

Processed Meat
Okay, not a huge deal.  No bacon or sausage, but I don't eat a ton of those anyway.  Although ever since I found out they were on the list of banned foods, I have really wanted a bacon cheeseburger.

Cheese
THIS IS A HUGE DEAL.  I love cheese.  I frequently have bleu cheese crumbles for dinner.  And I love goat cheese on crostini with strawberries and basil.  And queso is delicious.  I could survive on cheese alone.  Okay, well I'd probably feel like shit, but it would be awesome for a few days.  This also means no pizza.  Slightly devastating.

Nuts
To this, I say, aw nuts!  Okay, I'm not really that cheesy.  Again, not a huge deal.  Until you realize that your oatmeal packets have nuts in them and have to awkwardly pick them out at your desk.

Chocolate
Don't like it anyway.  I could care less.

Food With Preservatives
No more lean cuisines, smart ones, or hot pockets.  Damn.  Those quick meals will be missed.

Cultured Dairy Products
This is actually a huge deal to me because I love sour cream.  It's a great ingredient for sauces, spreads, marinades,...a lot of things.  One of my favorite go-to dinners is to bake chicken breats in the oven topped with a layer of sour cream and italian breadcrumbs.  Easy and delicious, every time.  Well, not anymore.  At least not for three months.

MSG
No Chinese food for me and NO SOY SAUCE.  That is a huge deal, considering my weekly sushi Wednesday pilgrimages to Koto.  I have found an alternative and might become that lady that brings her own sauces to restaurants.  You gotta do what you gotta do. 

Caffeine
I'll miss it, but I can do without it.  I've given up caffeine before and shockingly did not get one single withdrawal headache.  This leads me to doubt that it is responsible for what I have since my body doesn't react negatively to the absence of it, but what do I know?

Fresh Baked Goods w/ Yeast
So no cakes or doughnuts or bread.  I only like bread out of that list and I can do without it.  But damn.  I'm not even done with the list and I'm getting depressed all over again about my options.

Canned Soups
All soups must be homemade.  Goodbye, Campbell's Creamy Tomato.  Goodbye.

Potato Chips
I'm not even going to remark how heartwrenching this is.  I'll just say that for my birthday this year, instead of a cake, I was given a jumbo bag of salt and vinegar potato chips.  That is how much I love the things.  Luckily I've gotten used to roasting chickpeas and edamame in the oven with different spices, which is a nice substitute.

Alcohol
Except at the wedding of the Favorite Redhead.  I have to drink to the happiness of my favorite couple.  Plus, champagne, red wine, whiskey and beer are the main bad guys, so having a couple of glasses of white wine would be okay, right? 

There are a few other things but these are the main ones.  It's a lot like clean eating, which is really good for you, so hopefully I'll get healthier as well as feel better.  Plus, I'll be saving money not eating out as much since I'm not going to pay for someone to drizzle lemon juice over a bed of lettuce and charge me $13 for a 'salad.'  I'll do that myself at home.  I'm sure after two weeks or so I'll be so used to it I won't even miss the other foods.  That's a blatant lie.  I will always miss bleu cheese and potato chips. 

I am comforted in the fact that it might not be goodbye for forever to some of my favorite foods, but moreso a see you later.

I am now starving after writing about food.  That's the equivalent of looking at Pinterest right before dinner.  Damn.