Greetings and salutations readers!
This time last week I was on the deck of a cruiseship, sunning myself. This week, I'm in my childhood bed at home, still nursing a cold, and cramped because mom's dog, cat, and my cat have all decided to sleep in my single bed too. But, I sure do feel loved!
This year, my mom has decided to ignore Christmas. We're not putting up a tree, we're not having a traditional special meal, and gifts we give eachother are not to be wrapped in holiday wrapping paper. I could argue, but I know when to pick my battles, and this is not one I am going to win.
When she first told me at Thanksgiving that we were basically ignoring Christmas, I was fine with it. Holidays have never been large productions at my house because I have such a small family. But now that I'm home for a day or so, this close to Christmas, and there is no sign of holiday cheer anywhere at the Stergas residence, I'm beginning to regret going along with her decision. I want to go into our living room and break out my old Christmas carols piano book, but I'm afraid it will make mom upset. I miss having a tree with our family ornaments to read next to at night. I miss the joy that usually comes with the holiday season.
I've tried to do Christmas my own way this year. I've sought out ways I can help families who actually do want a Christmas for their children, they just may not have the means to do it this year. I'm really excited for my friends' Booze Exchange party on Friday night, because that's going to be the extent of my Christmas cheer this year.
Instead of dwelling on all the things I'm going to miss about Christmas, let me tell you all about four of my most favorite Christmas moments.
1.) The trampoline. Okay, so at a certain age, most children stop believing in Santa Claus, or at least become skeptical of the jolly old man who supposedly comes into homes through chimneys, even if your house does not have a chimney. Supposedly reindeer dust disables security systems, or so I was told as a wee one. One year in particular, I thought I had this all figured out. I'd go to bed, mom and dad would assemble all of the Barbie accessories I'd asked for, throw in a few clothing items I immediately passed over, and filled my six foot (yes, six foot) stocking. I was an only child. What can I say? So I woke up on Christmas morning and played along with the whole 'Santa' bit. Because if you stop believing in him, he stops coming, and I wanted to most presents I could possibly get. Greedy, yes...but don't tell me you wouldn't have done the same. I read my letter from Santa in which he says what a good girl I had been this year, trying to speed through the letter so I could get down to business and assess how I'd made out this year. I get to the last line and it says 'look in the backyard.' I was perplexed as to what could be there. I saw the Barbie jeep I'd requested in the corner, so it's not like it was sitting outside. Maybe there is an injured reindeer I need to nurse back to health back there? I ran into the den, looked outside, and saw.... A TRAMPOLINE!!!!!!!!!!!! OHMYGOSHHOWDIDMYPARENTSSNEAKTHATBACKTHERE?!??!?!?!
Needless to say, Santa was obviously real. At least, for that Christmas.
2.) The year I became an adult. Don't worry male readers, this has nothing to do with any processes the female body goes through. It deals with the point in my life in which my six foot long stocking could no longer be stuffed with Barbies and video games. Determined to still fill the giant sock with presents, my father had the brilliant idea to fill it with printer paper packets because I was typing so many papers for school. At that point I thanked my parents for their valiant efforts over the years to fill my stocking, but I was relieving them of their duty. Getting printer paper is probably the 2000 equivalent of coal.
3.) The Jeep. One year I got a Hot Wheels jeep to drive around in and I knew the world was mine for the taking. I would cruise around my backyard for hours, chasing Scout, our dog, and leaning back in the driver's seat like I was large and in charge. I'd wear sunglasses even in the winter and I would pack myself a lunch (usually of dunkaroos and gushers) for the road, in case my journeys ever took me out of my backyard. Life was glorious, until two jerks stole my beloved Jeep and trashed it. Luckily, said jerks were not very smart and trashed it in one of their backyards and left evidence. Their mothers made them save up enough allowance to buy me a new one and present it to me, along with a letter of apology. I said I forgave them (to much oohing and ahhing about how cute I was and how sweet) but I totally lied. I did not forgive, nor did I forget.
4.) The last Christmas I had with my grandmother. Christmas of 1993 was probably the last Christmas I was truly naïve of how precious life is. Until that point I had never experienced loss, and it didn't dawn on me that people wouldn't be around for forever. We went to my grandparents house, had a meal, played with the awesome toy train my grandfather set up for me each year, and had a great time laughing and loving eachother. The next day at church we found out my grandmother, Mama Helen (or Gree, as I usually called her), had suffered a heart attack and was in the hospital. She would later pass away in February of 1994. That Christmas was the last time I felt like I had a whole family. Since that Christmas, I've lost my great grandmother, my grandfather and my dad, and my family has dwindled to two.
One thing reflecting on past Christmases has done is made me realize what I want in my future family. I hope to marry someone one day that comes from a larger family so I can experience the big family affairs. Someone with brothers and sisters so my children can have cousins their own age to play and cause mischief with. I hope that my future family will have enough people to survive losses but still keep the family gatherings a tradition. Obviously I'm in no rush to get married since I am almost 29 and have been single for a very long time, but one day I'll be ready. I am excited for the day when I have children of my own and can find ways to make Christmas a time of wonder for them. I'm not sure about this Elf on a Shelf stuff because personally, I think a voyeur elf is pretty darn creepy, but I'm sure I'll change my viewpoint if it makes my little ones smile.
If I don't write anymore before Christmas, enjoy your holidays and being with your families. May you all be blessed with good fortune in 2014. Be safe, be kind, and most of all, be happy.
No comments:
Post a Comment