The Art of Going to Lunch in Downtown Nashville

So...been a while. 

What's up?

Do you want to come over and watch a movie?

I imagine that's how awkward text conversations between two people who used to be close (at least for a few hours anyway?) would start out at this point.  It's been months.  I'm sorry to the four of you out there who read this.  It's not you, it's me.

Anyway, I could go into detail about all of the exciting things I've been up to that have prevented me from updating this blog but all of the things I would say would be lies.  I've been laying pretty low, trying to take care of myself, and trying to develop a formula to make my hair grow quicker because I chopped it all off.  Like, a foot of hair.  Don't get me wrong, it's exactly what I wanted at the time.  But then I figured out in order to get the cute, short waves I want, I would actually have to wake up earlier to do my hair.  Well, that was a major flaw I was not ready to contend with.  So I'm biding my time until my hair grows and requires nothing but a shampoo every other day and a few strokes of a hairbrush.  It's almost there.  My ponytail is no longer the size of a radish.

Anyway, let's get down to brass tacks.  (I heard that in an episode of Homestar Runner once.  Whoa, talk about a thowback.  What is the correct twitter hashtag for Mondays?  I can't keep up with the kids and their internets crazes these days.)

After working in downtown Nashville for the past two years, I've developed a pretty intimate knowledge of the dining out options.  You have burrito place #1, the Thai place, the sushi place, burrito place #2, the most mediocre restaurant of all restaurants in existence, the meat and three that is either a ghost town or has a 2 hour wait, burrito place #3, the new hipster-ish darling of downtown dining (which I must be the only person who is not a fan...this is why I could never live in East Nashville.  Way too un-cool), the generic sandwich/soup/salad place which is fine getting there but not worth the trek up the hill after loading on carbs, and supposedly now there is a burrito place #4 my boss told me about last week. 

Several factors go into where I select to eat my lunch.  Am I craving hit or miss food but the best fruit tea?  Obviously, burrito place #2 it is.  Am I craving being stared down while I try to eat my $14 salad because the four businessmen than just walked in are shocked to find that at 12:01 all tables are taken and want to eat, like, now?  Meat and three, coming right up.  Do I want abnormally large chunks of avocado in my sushi?  Well, this one speaks for itself.  I am probably one of the few people not a fan of the quarter sized chunks of fruit, but avacado is yet another trend I can't get behind.  When it's bigger than my piece of spicy crab, we have an issue.  Last week we ventured out to one of the restaurants in the hotels downtown.  We all agreed it looked like Oberyn Martell (RIP Red Viper) and Ellaria Sand would definitely have eaten there daily.  It was very red and looked like a brothel, but we were into it.  Sadly, the fried green tomato blt's bacon wasn't fully cooked (this is why you do not use turkey bacon...IT IS NOT THE SAME!) and even though I may return to relive the nostalgia of one of my favorite literary and television characters of all time (can we just decide the actor Pedro Pascal needs to use that accent all the time?  Oh, and another side note, I am delighted to find out in real life he dates a woman who has had relationships with both men and women.  I feel he is doing his character justice.  Just don't think you can take on a 422 lb opponent Pedro, and I think you'll be okay).

So here is my foray back into the world of blogging.  Not sure how often I'll return, but this is a start.  The Favorite Redhead wants me to do a blog comparing SEC schools to Game of Thrones characters.  Yes, I am aware there is an original and I can in no way take credit for the idea.  But, I haven't read it and the thought is intriguing, so hopefully the writers won't be miffed if this little sliver of a corner of the interwebs takes a stab at it.  Preview:  Alabama = Hodor, obviously.  All you hear the fans say is 'Roll Tide!', much like Hodor's mantra/battlecry/sob/almostwrotesomethinginappropriateuntilIrememberedmyfamilyreadsthis of 'Hodor!'

Until next time.