"Gentlemen may prefer blondes, but it takes a real man to handle a redhead”

So, confession Saturday, I’m not a true redhead.  After years of dying my light brown hair blonde, with brief dalliances as a brunette, I finally dyed my hair red last August after my best friend’s wedding.  She politely asked that I not make any drastic hair decisions before her wedding, and being the kind person that I am, I agreed.  I mean, if that’s the hardest thing I have to do as a Maid of Honor, then I hit the wedding party jackpot.  So as of August last year, I have had the privilege of joining the elite Redhead club.  It’s funny, but I have noticed there is a significant difference between redheaded men and women.  Men are usually called ‘Gingers’ and their red hair doesn’t seem to endear them to most women…unless they are Prince Harry.  I have to disagree.  I dated a redhead for almost five years and I thought he was very handsome.  He also dispelled the myth that redheads have fiery tempers.  He was definitely the more calm individual in the relationship.

I began thinking about other myths surrounding the crimson tressed folk and decided to share my experiences and see if the myths stack up. 

Myth 1:  Redheads have fiery tempers

I know I already touched on this a little, but I was talking about D and not myself.  I’m going to call this myth a draw.  I already had a fiery temper, but I don’t think my red hair has made it worse.  I still honk my horn at idiotic Nashville drivers, curse way more than any Southern belle ever should, and insult people in my mind (well, sometimes out loud, let’s be honest), just as much as I always have.  Maybe my hair finally matches my temper?

Myth 2:  Redheads turn into vampires when they die.

Okay, so those ancient Greeks liked to get creative with their myths.  Since I have never died, I am unable to give a conclusive answer to the theory behind this myth.  But if I do, in fact, turn into a sparkly vampire after my demise, you have my permission to stake me.  Unless I get to hang out with Christopher Meloni.  I would be completely fine being part of his coven, or whatever you call a flock of vampires.

Myth 3:  Red on the head, fire in the bed.

I am not even going to touch that one.  (That’s what she said?) 

Myth 4:  Redheads are witches.

I wish.

Myth 5:  Redheads bruise easier. 

Even though I’m an artificial one, I will definitely agree with this.  So does my leg and the GINORMOUS bruise that is still living there, THREE WEEKS after I ran into my bedframe.

Myth 6:  In Polynesian culture, it is thought that redheads descended from high ranking ancestors and is a mark of rulership.

I mean, obviously.  You all know how bossy I am.

 So there you go.  A fake redhead’s thoughts on being seen as a real redhead.  Until next time…

Q:  Have you ever called your boyfriend by your ex’s name?

A:  No, but I did call my friend’s husband the name of her ex.  That went well.

Q:  What is your most embarrassing moment?

A:  Too many to count.  But, one that stands out happened two weeks ago.  I was walking to my parking garage downtown and a sudden gust of wind lifted up my skirt, giving everyone by the bus terminal a view of my butt since I was wearing a thong that day.  You’re welcome MTA, you’re welcome.

Q:  What did you want to be when you were little?

A;  A fireman.  I wanted to drive the red truck.  I really liked red.