Hi, my name is Anna and I’m an only child.

Hi Anna!

I say I’m an only child like it’s something that I would need therapy for, but so far I think I’m okay.  First, let me get this out in the open:  I hate being an only child.  Please, if you are considering having children, have at least two.  Don’t go crazy and have eight at a time, but please don’t stop after one. 

I understand why I’m an only child.  My mom wanted to stay home with me when I was born, and thanks to the great state of Kentucky’s lousy teacher compensation, she could only do that if it was just me.  I loved having my mom home.  We were constantly going on walks, to the library, and playing with our dog.  I was, and still am, great friends with another only child and our mothers would have us play together several times a week, so I wasn’t lonely.  I also developed a great imagination.  I was great at entertaining myself.  Plus, when you have an awesome grandfather that builds you a kick-ass tree house complete with a pulley system elevator so I could bring all of my Barbies with me to the top, there really is no excuse for boredom. 

But that’s pretty much where the positives end and the negatives begin.  For example, all of the hopes and dreams of the parent are placed on said only child.  I frequently like to remind my mom that she’s lucky I turned out as well as I did.  She doesn’t seem to appreciate when I say that, but I know deep down she’s pleased.  My parents motivated me to be the best at everything I could, especially academically.  At the time, I hated that my parents expected me to be Valedictorian of my high school class.  But, when the college I wanted to attend offered me a fantastic scholarship because of my grades and activities, I had to resign myself to the fact that once again, mom and dad were right. 

I’ll never forget the day I told my parents I wanted to be a History professor.  I think my mom had tears in her eyes…tears of sorrow.  My entire life my parents had always said, “You can be anything you want, just please don’t want to be a teacher.”  Even though I wasn’t planning on teaching in the public school system, they were not thrilled I was going to teach at all.  Both of my parents were teachers and while they value the profession, they didn’t want me to work so hard for so little compensation my entire life.  Luckily for mom and dad the whole I-want-to-be-a-professor thing didn’t last, but I know they were worried for a while. 

Another disadvantage is that there is no one to blame when you do something wrong.  Like that time I broke my mom’s music box her great grandmother had given her?  No little brother to blame.  I couldn’t even blame the dog because it was on a shelf that was too high for Critter to reach.  Or that time I braided my hair when I wasn’t supposed to and I couldn’t get one out so I thought I would just cut it off?  Yeah, I had to fess up to that too.  I couldn’t say little Suzy had gotten gum in my hair.  Life is not fair sometimes.

I could go on and on about other disadvantages to being an only child, but I really want to touch on the main one:  when your parents need you, it’s just you.  I watched my mother, also an only child, take care of my grandfather for years.  If I can be half of the daughter she was to him, then I’ll consider myself a success.  I remember how hard it was when he passed away.  My grandmother died in 1994, so my mom was left all alone.  She called herself an orphan, and it about broke my heart.  The time will come one day when the roles reverse and it will become my job to care for my parents.  My dad has been experiencing some pretty serious health issues since March and it scares me for many reasons.  This past weekend when I was home I broached the subject of them moving to Nashville.  Although they aren’t far away, I would like knowing I could get to them in 20 minutes if necessary.  They said once they figured out my dad’s situation they would consider it, and I hope they do. 

I don’t like thinking about it, but when a parent is sick you can’t help but think about what you would do without them.  What if my dad isn’t there to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day or have the father-daughter dance?  What if he isn’t there to see his grandchildren?  He isn’t knocking on death’s door or anything, but these are very real thoughts I’ve been having lately.  Life can change in the blink of an eye and it helps me to think about all possible scenarios so that I can prepare myself. 

We’ll know a lot more after today when dad meets with his heart surgeon.  I’ve run through the best case and worst case scenarios hundreds of times since I came back from home on Sunday and even had a pretty major breakdown involving ugly cries and a major headache afterwards.  I’ve tried to prepare myself for whatever so I can be strong for my parents and tell them how silly they are being when they get scared.  I won’t let them know that I’m scared too.  And you had better not tell them.

I’m trying to end this entry on a lighter note, but it’s hard when all of my thoughts are very heavy.  I think it’s odd that people are surprised when I say I’m an only child.  I guess thanks are in order?  Only children have a bad rap for being selfish, spoiled, and bratty.  My parents prevented that by forcing me to work for what I wanted.  I would say that I’m spoiled in love (aww) but I don’t think that’s a bad thing.  I’m definitely not spoiled in material things.  I remember in high school everyone had Adidas pants.  I have no idea why, but that was such a thing.  Everyone who was anyone had a pair and I wanted some.  So, when I told my mom I wanted a pair, she looked me straight in the eye.  I thought to myself, oh yeah…this is going to happen.  But then she said, “Well that’s great Anna Charles.  Go get your wallet and we’ll go to the store and you can buy them.”  Yeah, not exactly how I wanted that conversation to go.  I ended up saving my money from babysitting and bought a pair myself.  Yes, I had them way after everyone else, but I also wore mine with more pride because they really were mine.  And I continued to wear them until I wore a hole in the knees because damn it, if I paid for them, I was going to get my money’s worth!

Until next time…

Q:  What is your favorite childhood memory?

A:  Riding in my little red Jeep in the backyard with the dog chasing me.  I may or may not have dented a few of our trees in that thing.

Q:  What was your favorite game when you were little?

A:  Dreamphone.  George was so hot. 

Q:  What was your favorite tv show when you were a kid?

A:  When I was really little I loved ‘Dumbo’s Circus’.  After that, it was Full House and TGIF all the way.