Like most women, I love clothes. I hate shopping, but I love clothes. My idea of shopping is to order stuff online,
try it on at home, keep what I want, and mail the rest back. It’s the lazy guide to shopping. Someone brings it to your door, you get to
try things on in the comfort of your own home with a root beer, and then I go
to the post office at work and mail back what I don’t want. Easy peasy.
So, below I have listed 10 outfits that defined my
life. Okay, maybe not defined, but I at
least remember them and associate them with some event in my life.
1.
The bell dress.
No, it wasn’t a dress in the shape of a bell, it was literally a dress
with a bell on it. Except the bell was
hidden. See, my mom would sew bells on
all of my dresses when I was little so she could hear where I was in the
house. Which was a genius idea, until I
wanted to show a boy at church the bell and lifted up my skirt in front of the
church picnic when I was 2. Pretty sure
the bells went away after that.
2.
Windsuits.
Remember those bad boys? That was
pretty much my uniform from age 2-11 because I didn’t like jeans. Not sure why they were called wind suits…maybe
because on windy days it looked like you were wearing a colorful trash bag
because the fabric blew around so much.
No windsuit is complete without the matching scrunchie. I had a drawer full of hairbows and
scrunchies so rest assured, whatever color windsuit my mom bought me, I had a
matching head accessory. Burnt
orange? Yep. Jungle green?
Oh yeah. Coffee & Cream
Brown? Check. A girl has to be prepared at all times.
3.
First Grade School Picture dress. I have to say, I was a cute kid. Not sure what happened. In first grade I was missing my top four
front teeth. So my smile is huge and so
is the hole in my mouth. I was so
excited to have my first school picture taken.
My bangs were curled extra high, my dress swished when I walked, and my
hairbow totally matched. I was ready for
my close up.
4.
Ariel costume.
See? I always knew I wanted to be
a redhead. The year The Little Mermaid
came out I wanted to be Ariel for Halloween.
Trouble was, that Halloween it was like 27 degrees outside. So my mom piled layers of warm clothes
underneath my costume and I so did not look like a mermaid. I looked like a sumo suit version of The
Little Mermaid. Eric would not have been
into me at all. My friend H went as
Ariel too and I was so jealous that her mom let her put red glitter in her
hair. Susan vetoed that one real
quick. Now I think glitter is the herpes
of craft supplies, but at age 7, glitter was a huge deal.
5.
Santa hat shirt.
So this shirt holds a special memory, but it’s a sad one. It was green and it had Santa’s face on it
and at the tip of the hat there was a big, fuzzy, white cotton ball. I was 8.
I wore it for Christmas and I have it on in the last picture the two of
us took together. The next day she had a
heart attack and was in the hospital until she passed away in February. That picture hangs in my bedroom and every
time I look at it I am reminded that even though I only had her for eight
years, I had the best grandmother a child could want.
6.
First Abercrombie & Fitch shirt. Remember when that was the thing? Everyone in my school had one. I was probably one of the last people to get
into that trend. (I also pronounced it
Ay-bercrombie, once again, showing how cool
I was NOT.) I finally got one and it had
the words Abercrombie & Fitch in HUGE letters. Obviously, I didn’t want there to be any
confusion as to what store with extremely loud music that smells like it took a
bath in cologne I had been shopping at.
Remember when they made those shirts with the double entendres? I remember this one guy in my freshman year
English class had this shirt that said ‘Liquor in the front and poke her in the
back.’ It took me about six months of
staring at it for me to finally realize what it was really saying. I was a sheltered child.
7.
Senior prom dress. I have already mentioned the dress on this
blog, but my dress was badass. It fit me
perfectly, I felt great in it, and I thought I had never looked prettier. Much like I imagine a bride feels like on her
wedding day. It was white too, also like
a wedding dress. Not like a wedding
dress, however, were the cutouts that prevented me from wearing underwear. So I guess it could be a slutty wedding
dress. I could be down with a slutty
wedding dress.
8.
‘All I Want for My Birthday is a Hug From John
Wall’ tshirt. My 24th
birthday was amazing. The UK/UT game was
on my birthday that year, it was on a Saturday, my friend B came with me,
College Gameday was there, and John Wall/Demarcus Cousins/John Calipari were
the best things to happen to Kentucky basketball since sliced bread. (Side note, was sliced bread really that big
of a deal when it came out? I really
want to know this.) My friend B and I
were going to the game and my friend L made me the most amazing shirt that said
“All I Want for my Birthday is a Hug from John Wall’ on the front, and then on
the back said ‘Or Cousins, or Bledsoe, or Patterson…etc.) I didn’t get my hug,
but it’s still one of the best days of my life.
We beat UT, which is the team I despise above all others, I got to be in
Rupp, and I got to be surrounded by 24,000 of my closest friends on my
birthday. What more could a girl ask
for?...besides a hug from John Wall.
9.
Yellow sweater.
Another sad one. This was the
sweater I wore to my grandfather’s funeral.
Yellow is my favorite color and my mom said I should wear it because he
would have liked it. My grandfather’s
funeral was very small, just close family and my best friend, who was basically
his other granddaughter. We had the
traditional military funeral for him and I was presented the flag that was on
his casket, which is in my living room, right next to the red and black garter
we found in his drawer when we were cleaning out his room. Where he got that and why he had it, I will
never know. But it was such a Daddy
Cliff thing to have. God, I miss that
man.
10.
Green & black sheath dress. This was the dress I was wearing the day I
interviewed for my current job. I was
super nervous. I’d already been through
one interview with HR, but this was the one where my boss would actually
interview me. When I left I had no idea
how it had gone. But, apparently he didn’t
let the fact that he supports the lowdown, dirty snitches in Knoxville and I
support the majestic Big Blue get in the way and he hired me! I love my job and I think my boss is
great. We even have bets placed on all
of the UK/UT games this year. If I win
(which I expect to) he owes me a root beer and if he wins (let’s be honest….he’s
going to win the football bet) I have to give him a Diet Mountain Dew. So now, whenever I have a big presentation at
work or an important meeting, I wear that dress. I figure it has good juju, so I should just
go with it!
Okay, so there’s my life in 10 outfits. Going to be honest. I googled ‘blog topic ideas’ because I was
itching to write but couldn’t think of anything to write about. Well, that’s not true. I can think of plenty of things to write
about…they just aren’t super blog appropriate.
Until next time…
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