Happy Thanksgiving. This blog comes to you from My Old Kentucky House (since I consider Nashville my home) and so far I have survived. But I've only been here for 20 minutes, so that's not much of an accomplishment.
Now that that's out of the way, we get onto the important stuff, like what mischief myself and my friend M got into last night. So the idea for last night came about during a text conversation where we decided since we don't have much luck meeting people out when we're ourselves, we should pretend to be other people and see if we had better luck. Last night I was more of M's wingwoman, but I'm fine with that because relationships tend to require warm fuzzies and discussions of feelings, things I am not very adept at. So we came up with our alter egos. Mine is Mandy, and I am kind of an airhead, have no opinions, am supported by my daddy, and I don't like any red food. Last night I worked at Express while I was studying to get into law school, but I figured out I needed a more exciting, conversation starting career, so now I'm going to be a food stylist. A food stylist that is allergic to gluten and can't eat half of the food I style. I think that works. M's alter ego is Robin, the tattoo-less tattoo artist. She says her body is a temple and there is no one who is as good of an artist as her, so she will not let anyone tattoo her. She's supposed to be really bitchy and high maintenance, only ordering top shelf drinks and looking down on people when they order something less.
Since I didn't leave for Kentucky until this morning and M's staying in Nashville, we decided last night would be our first attempt at our social experiement. Granted, there weren't that many people out last night, but night one was actually a surprising success...in some ways. We went to Tavern for Happy Hour and got a table near the bar. There were slim pickings, so we just enjoyed our 2 for 1's and planned to meet up with two other friends at Whiskey Kitchen when we were done, agreeing to try our experiement another night when there were more people. However, we struck gold. Just as we were paying, a guy came over to our table and started talking to us. When he asked our names, I said, "Hi, I'm Mandy."
And so it was on.
Below is a (pretty accurate) transcript of our conversation.
Mary: Hi, I'm Robin.
Guy: I'm ____________. What do you guys do?
Me: I work at Express.
Mary: I'm a tattoo artist.
Guy: Whoa! That's amazing! I've never met a tattoo artist before! (His eyes got really big too)
Mary: Well, I am. I don't have any tattoos though.
Guy: Really?
Mary: Yes. My body is a temple and no one is as good as me.
Me: She gave me a tattoo on my back. It barely even hurt!
Guy: Wow. That's awesome. I don't have any tattoos. Can you tattoo over other ones?
Mary: I'm not sure I know what you mean.
Guy: Like, can you tattoo over one tattoo with a new one?
Mary: Yeah, well, there's shading you can do. With white.
Me: She can. She's really good.
Guy: So, if I were to want to get a tattoo, where could I find you?
Mary: Brentwood.
After this the guy walks away and we go to the bathroom before we leave to let out the laughter we'd been holding in. Obviously we discovered we should flush out our backstories a little bit more and come up with a name of her tattoo shop. But we were so proud that we had been approached and had kept up our acts. So as we were leaving, he comes back up to us and says he's going to be around this weekend and could he get Mary's phone number. She gives it to him, but one digit off, verbally because he says he will remember. I guess he wasn't as confident as he thought, so he got his phone to type it in. When he typed in the incorrect number, M accidentally corrected him and gave him the right one! Oops. We figured though when he called and her voicemail says "Hi, this is M _____..." he'll think he got it wrong.
Some people might think this experiment is kind of mean, and that's okay. But we are just curious and plan on going for round 2, so if you don't like it you don't have to read about it, deal?
After this, we had a very funny conversation about what if you were married to the GPS voice woman? And what if she was married to the movie trailer announcer guy? Just imagine their bedroom talk. We were crying because we were laughing so hard by the time we got to Whiskey Kitchen. We met up with two friends, talked, I watched the rest of the UK/Moorehead State basketball game, and left soon after the game was over because M and I were tired and wanted to quit while we were ahead.
All in all, a pretty entertaining Wednesday night in Nashville. Here's hoping to have installment II after next weekend.
Till then, just say no to third and fourth helpings of food. You'll thank me when it's Monday morning and you have to fit in your dress pants.
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