An Open Letter To Men Who Heckle Women On Their Way To Work

Okay, let's just get this out there:  I have a big butt (and I cannot lie...zing!)  I always have and I always will.  Even when I was anorexic in high school and ate nothing but lettuce and diet pills, I had a butt.  It's genetic.  I could go to five spin classes a day and it wouldn't go away.  It's the last place I lose weight even though I wish it was the first.  I've come to accept it.

What I will not ever come to accept, however, are men that don't know me, yet seem to think it's socially appropriate to comment on my ass when I walk by them on my way to my parking garage downtown.  Catcalls of "Damn Girl!"  and "Look at that ass!" are not welcome and I had to muster every ounce of self control I possessed not to unload all of my frustrations on a group of men Monday afternoon who proceeded to yell the previously mentioned catcalls while I walked down 5th Avenue.  But, these days, women have to be careful who they yell at.  And a group of five guys vs. one 5'2" girl is probably not a winning combination. 

Do you mean those catcalls as a compliment?  I get it.  Some guys are butt guys, some are boob guys.  I happen to be the jackpot for butt guys.  But yelling at a woman on a crowded street is not the best way to give a compliment.  Most women are very self-conscious about their appearance, myself included.  Call me vain, I don't care.  But I don't want what I see as a flaw pointed out within earshot of my boss.  How would you like if I "complimented" you on a feature of your appearance you didn't like?  Something like "Wow!  I can almost see all the way to the back of your throat thanks to the huge gap between your teeth!"  or "What an attractive ankle monitor you have!"  Bet you wouldn't be a fan of that.  Even though I do applaud your efforts to graffiti said ankle monitor.  Really gives it flair. 

You want to give me a compliment?  Great.  Tell me you like my shoes (they're always fabulous) or I look nice in my new skirt (I do) or that you like my smile (thanks to my parents and a hefty orthodontist bill).  Do not yell at me, empowered by your buddies standing around you, especially about my butt.  Because that will make me want to kick yours.  And after a month of going to the spin nazi's spin classes, I probably could. 

Love & Light,

A.