An Ode To One Of My Favorite Things

Few things make me happier than a good pair of tights. 

I'm serious. 

Tights are good for so many things.  See below:

1.)  Helping to suck it in.  Unless your body is perfect (which maybe it is and if so, I hate you) then you more than likely have a few problem spots that some dresses and skirts just do not forgive.  That extra centimeter the tights take off of your figure can be really helpful when you want to look your best. 

2.)  Keeping you warm.  Now, as someone who, as you readers know, doesn't really like to wear pants, this means I wear a lot of dresses and skirts.  And it has been cold lately.  So, thanks to the miracle that is sweater tights, I have been kept warm throughout the winter season.  Maybe not as warm as I would have been if I was wearing pants, but I was more comfortable.  And comfort is key.

3.)  They can be expressive.  Feeling flirty?  Wear some tights with polka dots.  Feeling daring?  Wear some electric blue tights.  Or, if you're me, just wear black no matter what.  I do not own polka dotted or electric blue tights.  But I could if I wanted to.

4.)  They make short skirts acceptable.  Okay ladies, you all know you own at least three dresses that are about an inch too short for you to be wearing.  But slip on a pair of tights and all of a sudden the skirt that previously barely covered your butt is now an acceptable outfit for an evening in Midtown. 

5.)  They save you from embarassment.  As someone who works in the downtown wind tunnel, I appreciate the barrier that tights give me, in case my skirt decides to go with the flow of the wind and I almost flash everyone downtown.  Now, I wear cute underwear everyday.  But that doesn't mean I want to show it to the world. 

However, tights do have their drawbacks.  They are sometimes uncomfortable and if you put them on twisted, then girl, you will not be comfortable all day.  They also can't be worn in warm weather because then you get hot.  I love that Spring is approaching but I hate the fact that I need to quickly join a tanning bed so I can wear my skirts and dresses without blinding people because my legs are so white.  Yeah, I could use self-tanner, except I am horribly inept at applying the stuff and I always mess up my back.  Or forget to wash the outline of my hands and look like I have been playing in dirt.  There are spray tans, yes, but I can't afford to spend that much money to stand in a booth and have jets of liquid tan shoot out at me every five days.  Plus, it smells.  And it gets on your sheets. 

And as I've mentioned before tights can pose a conundrum if you have met a nice gentleman out on a night on the town and end up going back to their place for wine and conversation.  Or a shot and a hookup.  Pick your pleasure.  Remember ladies, tights come off first.  Because few things are less attractive than standing in front of someone in your super cute bra and your sheer tights that are pulled up to your waist.  Unless that gets you going.  Whatever.  You do you. 

So, with the approach of Spring, it is almost time to bid farewell to one of my favorite things.  And I guess it's time to hit the gym even harder since I'm not going to have that extra centimeter cushion in my clothing.  Damn.  Is it Fall yet?