Why Bingo Cards Make Every Life Event Better

Happy Julius Randle Day!

If you know who that is then you're celebrating with me and if you don't, then, well...I guess you're not excited.  But, let's just say that college basketball next season is going to be pretty darn fun...if you're a UK fan. 

Anyway, let's talk about an important life staple:  the BINGO card.  No, I'm not talking about the game played in nursing homes or at your elementary school's fall festival.  (By the way, I have a great idea for a party:  An Adult Themed Fall Festival!  That sounds slightly pornographic, but the explanation is not.  Guests would play all the games they played at Fall Festivals at their schools, but these games would be the grown up version.  Example:  instead of tossing rings onto 2-liters, guests would toss rings onto 40s.  The cake walk would be the booze walk, the fishing game would have prizes such as flavored lube, and there would be body painting instead of face painting.  Genius.)  Back to the point, I'm talking about fun BINGO cards.

I saw my first BINGO card a few years ago when CMA Fest was in town.  It used to be called Fan Fair and my friend L who works in the music business called the attendees fanfairies and showed me the BINGO card for that year.  It listed things like 'find a mullet' or 'spot jorts'.  Things that you knew you'd probably see.  I later made my own card for my friend K's annual Sweatpants Birthday Pub Crawl.  I've since made one for St. Patrick's Day and another friend's birthday this past weekend.  The possibilities are endless.  Has your friend ever danced on a piece of furniture and fell off?  Put it on a BINGO card.  Have they ever done a tribal dance around a Red Stripe bottle in Key West?  Card it.  Do they have a habit of making duckface?  Easy.  You can put pretty much anything on there.  It's also a good way to get people to make idiots out of themselves in a crowded bar.  I mean, have you ever seen someone randomly strike a yoga pose in a bar on a Saturday night?  Well, if you were at Rebar this past Saturday you did.  Usually spectators get in on the fun and offer to help you fill out your card, which is a great way to meet new friends and potential future exes.  Really, there's no way you can't win with a BINGO card.  If you ever need help putting one together.  Apparently I'm really good at it and I think I will add it to my resume.

Also something I'm good at?  Fixing printers.  Or rather, kicking the printer and calling it a bastard until it starts working again. 

Till next time!