Regrets & Missed Opportunities

Happy Almost 2013 readers!

I suppose it is only natural for people (probably mostly ladies) to take the last few days of the year to reflect on where they are in life and where they'd like to be.  And they probably mostly dwell on things they regret in life, because we women tend to focus on the negative a bit more than we focus on the positive.  Or, at least, I do.  I don't really believe people when they say they have no regrets in life.  I mean, really?  There isn't one thing in your entire existence that you regret doing?  Well then your life must be reeeeally boring. 

Yes, I believe my past experiences have made me into the person I am today, but I think I could still be the person I am today without having made the brilliant decision at one college house party to chase shots of Jack Daniels with Jack & Cokes, you know what I mean?  I regret things like being mean to a kid in Middle School just because everyone else was, I regret kissing another guy while I was dating my college boyfriend (the guy happened to be his little brother in his fraternity...talk about scandal!), and I regret several outfit choices over the years (um, skirts over jeans?  why?). 

For some reason this year I'm thinking more about missed opportunities than regrets.  Like that job offer I got that would have taken me across the country where I didn't know anyone that I decided not to pursue.  Or that really nice guy that asked me out a while ago and I said no and now I see how happy he is with his new girlfriend and how wonderful he treats her.  Or hell, even missed opportunities like passing up on ordering an amazing sounding one time dinner special. 

At the time, I had reasons for turning down all of these opportunities.  I turned down the opportunity in Seattle because I'm an only child and my parents are aging, and not aging well, unfortunately.  I didn't want to be across the country if something went wrong.  But how great would it be to just uproot everything and go somewhere new?  Don't get me wrong.  I love my life here in Nashville.  My friends are amazing, I like my apartment, and I have a great job.  But I've been here for almost 10 years and I think I'm in a rut.  So, if my life is pretty much the same this time next year, I've made the decision to move.  Where?  I have no clue.  I've already started preparing the parentals for this and needless to say, one of them is not happy.  The other one doesn't really care.  I'll let you guess which is which.  So instead of celebrating my 29th birthday party next year, you might be celebrating a going away party...who knows! 

I turned down the guy because I thought he was "too nice" (yes, apparently there really are girls that actually do that) and thought I was too jaded and cynical for him.  And now I see how happy he is with his new girlfriend, how happy he makes her, and how well he treats her.  Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for them because I like them both very much, but I do feel sad at the fact that it maybe could have been me who has a sweet guy that treats me like I hung the moon...or at least a few stars.  So maybe I need to stop being so jaded, cynical, and believing that every man I let in my life is going to let me down.  I frequently complain that my mother doesn't allow herself to be happy and that I refuse to be like that...but maybe I'm more like that than I thought...shudder.  Yes, must work on that. 

And I turned down the amazing sounding dinner special because I was planning on wearing my skinny jeans the next day and wanted to look good in them...as if one meal really makes that much difference.  So I ordered a salad.  That wasn't even good.  And I didn't even end up going to the party where I was going to wear said jeans.  Eff.  I missed out on that amazing food for nothing.  And if you know me, I extremely dislike missing out on good food. 

I don't really have a good ending to this post.  I sat down to write with every intention of finishing the post I've been working on about weddings, but this is what wanted to come out, and who am I to argue with my writing muse? 

I hope everyone has a safe and super extremely fun New Year's Eve and New Year's Day!  Don't drink & drive, don't overo it, and don't make out with someone ugly!